fired.

christmas is over. here. over.

because all the good-will. and peace. and love. that comes with it. vanished today. right in the center aisle at costco.

all because i made her ride in the cart.

you would think that i was torturing her. making her eat mayo (she hates mayonnaise). taking away her barbies. telling her she isn't a real princess.

but no. i was just making her ride in the cart. it was crowded. we were in a hurry. she was running away.

so there. in the center aisle of our local costco. she did it.

she fired me.

her: "but i don't want to ride in the cart."

me: "but you will."

her: "but i'll stay right next to you. i promise."

me: "that's what you said last time."

her: "well. then. you are fired. mommy fired."

i have been fired.

the lady behind us. started laughing. loudly. she said. "run. run while you can!" her teenage daughters looked at her a little oddly. but she knew. she clearly knew. that this. this. was an opportunity. she said she'd go with me. this lady in costco.

oh how funny they can be.

i'll remind her that she fired me. perhaps when she's 16 and wants a car...

a bit fuzzy.

it's all a blur around here.

from the wonder.



to the sparkle.



to the glow.



to the glee.



hope yours was happy and merry, too.

peace and joy to you.

merry christmas. everyone.

hark the hearld angels. and shepherds.

sing.

the littles. so excited. christmas eve.

they love going to church on christmas eve. the story of the baby jesus. live animals. angels. and shepherds. kings. and babies. singing. candles. stars.

5 years ago. little one was actually the baby jesus. i was mary. and daddy was joseph. you see. in our church. the youngest baby is chosen to be the baby jesus in the christmas eve service. and she was it.

the sheep didn't cooperate that year as well as they did this year. but the kids this years were crazy. all of them. there was chaos. and wonder and oohs and aahs. just like in the movies. it was such fun.

she was an angel. with a black eye. he was shepherd. with a mean left arm.



and then. later. after presents and dinner at gram and gramps. they left cookies.




that santa loves. perhaps he will show up tonight.

two holidays.

in our house we celebrate the season twice. christmas. and hanukkah.



tonight before a night out with my parents and brother and wife. we celebrated a night of hanukkah.

the littles are awed. by the lights. the candles. the stories that daddy tells them. and of course. of course the presents.

seven nights.

today.

christmas shopping. well not shopping, so much. just looking. and trying to wrap up a few things for the holidays. a day out on the plaza. no littles. a little vino with lunch. fun with the other yulie. and this seemed to sum up the da for me...

"like so many americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops." - kurt vonnegut.

round and round.

he could. he really could.

sit there.

for hours.

watching it go.

round and round.

watching.

and saying "chooooo chooooo".


all day.

maybe we should leave this up all year.

the big guy.

the littles visited the big guy - or christmas lap - as little two calls him. today.

to tell him what they desired.

him: a choo choo and cooking.

her: a barbie.

easy enough.

they sat on his lap.



there was no drama. no screaming. just wide-eyes. and awe.

it's lovely how a man with a big white beard and red suit. can inspire such calm and quiet and awe and wonder. amazing.

really. i mean really.

why? do you sometimes just wonder why?

what did i do? why?

me: working on trying to get one of my holiday gifts done. 5 days to go. and counting.

her: complete quiet.

me: wondering what could be happening.

her: "mommy i need some help." "i'm five now, but i need some help." (apparently at five you can do everything.)

her: "NOW!"

me: xsklhdfl! (to myself). i could only imagine what had happened.

her: "i was just changing his diaper. and he tried to help."

me: "what?" it wasn't really registering apparently. as i dashed up the stairs.

her: "it's ok mommy" "it was just an accident he had".

me: thinking there "are no accidents."

i turn the corner to his room. the smell is overwhelming. the wipes are EVERYWHERE. an entire new box. scattered. and dirty. EVERYWHERE. he is laying on the floor in the middle of it. and i mean the middle of it.

i won't bore you with the gory details. the 30 minutes of clean up, the clothing and bedding change. the wipe down of the wall.

but i don't remember this being in the job description.

handsome.

her: "why, you."

him: "what madewhine?"

her: "why you. i like your look."

him: grinning.

her: "so handsome. just so handsome."

where do these things come from??

the house without a christmas tree.

is no more.

the tree is finally up. i say finally. because. it's a two day process for me. a two day decorating process. that is.

a day of stringing lights. wrapping each branch. 13 strands later. 1300 lights. it was done.

and a day of hanging ornaments. finding the perfect place. i don't know why i'm so obsessed with this. but. i am. just the way it is. each is special.



and so. we are not. the house without a christmas tree. which by the way. i loved when i was not so old. loved the book. loved the movie.

and now. it is up. and decorated. and the littles have been warned. warned not to touch. because. the husband thinks. the tree should be insured. yes. insured. probably not a bad idea. what can i say? i collect.

and the train is running underneath. and hopefully that. will keep them amused.

songs.

i love christmas music. i love listening to it in the car. on the ipod. at the gym. at home. i love to sing along. however. i do not like listening to it before thanksgiving. i can't stand that radio stations here, start playing it right after halloween. it seems.

but now it is december. i can listen all month. i used to drive a co-worker crazy listening to it. she still reminds me of it...:).

so here's my list. my top 10..well top 9.. list of favorite christmas songs.

9. aspenglow...john denver (of course)

8. do they know it's christmas...bandaid

7. when my heart finds christmas...harry connick, jr.

6. have yourself a merry little christmas

5. i'll be home for christmas...bing crosby

4. christmas canon...trans-siberian orchestra

3. what child is this

2. breath of heaven

1. song for a winter's night...sarah machlachlan

some days.

are just like that.

i overslept.

it was 6 degrees when i left the house.

people were poking along.

i was late for work.

the littles forgot their hats and mittens. i got a lecture from my mom.

i almost ran out of gas, because i despise going to the gas station. an unnecessary evil.

it was monday.

there are only 10 days until christmas. 5 until hannukah.

but despite that.

despite the bitter cold.

i got a lovely email from a friend.

i had a nice conversation with with a best friend.

little one had fun at a birthday party.

i got two orders done and delivered.

i got the christmas tree up (well sort of).

we had carolers come and sing to us at our door tonight.

so somedays. somedays. don't seem so good. but turn out good.

a christmas miracle.

the elf on the shelf that has been living with us this christmas.

left the other night. he decided that the littles had not been good. too naughty. waaaaay to naughty. so he disappeared. went back to be with santa. where the living is good. where littles don't do bad things. things that get you coal for christmas. things that get you day-long time-outs.

but apparently he thought. something. something had changed. that they decided they did want christmas after all. that presents did sound better than time-outs.

the elf, who we fondly refer to as flip. returned.

"it's a christmas miracle!" she exclaimed this morning when she saw him.

"a christmas miracle mommy!"

"just like hesus!" mommy he said.

they were so amazed. and actually i was, too. perhaps santa was feeling charitable. perhaps santa had a little too much cheer at the holiday party. perhaps he was tired of time-out. perhaps flip had been corrupted by the littles and didn't fit in with the elves anymore. perhaps flip was too much for santa now...but santa. santa sent flip, the elf. back. to our house.

"a true. christmas miracle." i said. "it is a true christmas miracle." what else could i say?

germs.

we're all about germs these days.

ever since she finally realized that germs make you sick.

"don't touch that! it's mine. it has my sick germs on it!"

"don't drink that! it has my sick germs in it!"

whether we are sick or not. though we are still sick. all of us. sinus infections. colds. new teeth. sick. sick. sick.

but we drudge on. i have volunteering to do today. we have a holiday party tonight.

and work to complete and decorating to do.

but we should be buying stock in kleenex and nyquil.

found!!

i found them.

what you ask?

little two's glasses. i say.

after ripping the house(s) and cars apart. calling. searching. pleading and bribing. i found them. today.

under a chair. i know i looked there. know i did.



but there they were. all twisted and turned and manhandled. and sticky and smudged.

but there they were.

in all their glory.

and after a little elbow grease and cleaner. they were back on his little face.

and he was none. too. pleased.

gone.

oh where? oh where? oh where have you gone?

i spent a huge amount of time today searching. searching.

for a two year old's glasses. they seem to have just disappeared into thin air. thin air. gone. poof! vanished.

and when i ask. i get a silly grin and a shrug of the shoulders with hands up. and this. "gone bye-bye, mommy. gone bye-bye."

so i seek them out. under the beds. the couch, the chairs. in the closets. the cupboards. the trash cans. in the toy chests, the play houses. the cars and trucks and trains. in the cars. in the coats and hats and mittens. everywhere.

and they are gone. gone. gone.

but. i am determined. i shall find them.

they shall return.

the opthamologist and her nurses asked. prodded. bribed. the same silly grin and shrug.

they got the picture. they laughed, but they got the picture...

but she said he must wear them. so it's either find them or fork over too much $$$ to get a new pair. that shall be lost, too. i'm sure.

ick.

i'm out. done. under the weather.

sinus infection.

again.

i feel lousy.

no creativity. no spark. no wit.

Sick
by Shel Silverstein

"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

but really. ick. i'm sick.

noise.

this is probably old news to some. but i just heard about it today. a colorado judge has decided that noise ordinance violators will be forced to listen to barry manilow. yes. barry manilow. for an hour. apparently he thinks this will teach people a lesson. i think it's hilarious.



i loved barry when i was a kid. and when i grew up (sort of) i had a client once, that loved him. i mean loved him. she would have given her first born to him. she played his music. traveled the country to see him. had all his albums. memorabilia. she was all about barry manilow.

and now. he's the one. the one a judge has decided will be the most punishing for noise ordinance offenders. barry manilow. really? i can think of some that would be worse.

jessica simpson
britney spears
"muskrat love" - captain and tenille
celine dion
air supply
"achy breaky heart" - billy ray cyrus

just to name a few. what would your punishment be?

singing out loud. part 2.

so tonight continued our musical journey. towards christmas. the annual pre-school christmas program.

this year. little one was picked for a speaking part. i was nervous. everytime we practiced she forgot what she was going to say. everytime i asked her what she was going to say she would tell me, "mommy i don't know." or "i'm not going to say anything." i had bad visions dancing through my head. bad. bad. visions.

she trotted in. waved. jumped up and down. and sang her little heart out. she had fun with her friends. smiled and laughed. and then it was her turn. she walked right over to the microphone and said her line. with great intonation. every word. perfectly. i was so proud. and afterwards she said "i can't remember what i said, mommy." of course not. and then she twirled. because she's five and she can do that.

singing out loud. part 1.

i love that my littles love to sing. and belt it out. believe me. they belt it out.

tonight was our carols ring and sing at church. all the kid's choirs and bell choirs took part. little one was so excited. she wore her "fancy" christmas outfit. that's what she called it. all day long she asked. "is it time?" "is it time to put on my skirt and twirl?" you see she was most excited that it twirled. we're all about the twirl. and she couldn't wait to get there. to sing out loud. she said.

and she did. she was so good. singing. smiling at the audience. waving. twirling.

"can we do that again? tomorrow?" she asked? and i actually said yes. "tomorrow". because tomorrow is another pageant...

the meaning.

of the season.

i love volunteering at christmas time. i do it every year. it's not forced. or because i should. i do it because i love it. i love the way i feel afterwards. the way it puts things in perspective. the sheer feeling of doing good.

today the other yulie and i worked at our county's christmas shop. i've worked there for over 18 years now. it still amazes me. the work involved. the organization, the number of people it serves. the joy it fills people with.

every year. i hear the same stories. the gratitude. the thankfulness. the wonder. the appreciation on both the clients and volunteers' parts. every year. people are humbled by one another.

i love it. we had a good time. we met some interesting people. heard some sad stories. some good stories. laughed and chatted. felt proud. and a bit embarrassed by what we have. what we don't really need. felt the need to simplify.

i don't mean to be preachy. i just always feel this way after i volunteer. it's easy to get caught up in my life. to forget. to not be aware. to take things for granted. but it was put into perspective last night. i just need to hang on to that.

5 things.

that i can live without. after being so "happy" in yesterday's post. it's time to get back to reality.

and besides. i'm stumped. i've seemed to run into a blog cramp. i'm not feeling inspired about things. at least not to write about....i'm sure it will pass. i just hope it happens. and soon.

so, 5 things. 5 things i can live without...

madonna. really. enough already.

beets. enough said.



grey's anatomy. i know. everyone loves it. but the whining. of ellen pompeo. makes me want to tear out my hair.

crocs. ugh. can't stand them. (sorry. just not a fan.) and my kids. when they wear them. they trip and fall for some reason. dangerous. i tell you. dangerous.

carrot cake. is this supposed to be a double entendre? seriously? carrots are a vegetable. cake is its own food group. do not combine. a good waste of both.

4 happy things.

a chat with an old friend.

suite seats at the mannheim steamroller (yes that's right) concert last tonight.

coffee with another friend.

littles eating cupcakes for breakfast. "they will make us grow big and strong mommy."

point taken.

today my friend julie, called to rant and rave (and i mean rant and rave - she's good at that - the kind where she talks non-stop for oh, say. 20 minutes, perhaps without stopping to taking a breath?).

her comment about facebook got the point across..."facebook is an un-needed, un-wanted, un-necessary bearer of all kinds of ouija board kinds of troubled craziness, not to mention that it's stupid".

enough said.


"facebook....a ouiga board of troubled craziness."

trees.

i love this tree.

simple.

wanting.

needing.

i wish i could find a tree like this for our christmas tree this year. well. ok. not quite so bare. (not at all that bare.) but hole-y. yes hole-y.
my ornaments display better in holes, you see. and trees like this. well. they don't ever get to fulfill their christmas destiny. and that is sad. just plain sad.

disturbed.

i love shopping. i love shopping.

let me get that straight. but i also dislike. no wait. can't stand. shopping on the day after thanksgiving. i never go. never. i would rather eat beets. and i hate beets.

i know there are deals. but i also think these deals are not worth getting up at 3 am for. waiting in crowds. like dogs for a few dollars off. so i will never. never go out on the day after thanksgiving.

i will wait to spend my money later.

but what happened on friday in new york at a wal-mart. is disturbing. disturbing. a worker was crushed to death by a mob of rabid shoppers. seriously...?...yes. seriously. i'm sure you've heard. who thinks they're going to be killed by shoppers? shoppers after tvs and dvds and mp3 players. sweaters and toys. someone taken out by these people. and then after they discovered that someone had been killed. and they were asked to leave. were angry. angry that they couldn't shop.

seriously? were they still drunk on turkey and stuffing? do they not understand what happened?

i have been disturbed by this. i feel horrible for this man's family. an innocent job. killed by rabid shoppers. what has become of us?

jack frost.

made a little visit. during the night.

we woke up to a light dusting of the white stuff this am. and the cold. he had to bring the cold with him.

everything was covered. not much to do anything too fun in. but enough to get everyone excited.

we dragged out the snow boots and the ski pants. bundled everyone up. and played around in it. threw snowballs. tried to build a snowman. until our noses were red and our toes were frozen.

don't you remember the excitement of snow? even a little bit seemed like mounds of the stuff back then.

luminary.

thanksgiving is over. done. the leftovers are all gone already. the turkeys and pilgrims and their ship, the mayflower are all snuggled back in their storage bin. it's time to move on to christmas.

we headed out to the arboretum this pm for their annual luminary walk. i've always been partial to luminaries. their soft flicker. their simpleness. perhaps it's from my love of the southwest. but i think it came long before then. but i digress. the walk was chilly. well, it was cold. and it was raining/sleeting/snowing during our walk. but it was beautiful and added to the atmosphere.

the littles loved it. chasing down the path. holding hands.

adoring uncle john (sorry juju).

looking at the lights and the waterfalls and the trees. sitting on santa's (or christmas's) lap.

this time both requesting barbies. yes. barbies. but he only siad it because she did. drinking hot apple cider.

warming ourselves by the fires. listening to the dickens carolers. going out to dinner afterwards to warm up.

juju and i even managed to escape for a few minutes. took the scenic route as they wandered down the shortcut with the littles. listened to some indian flute music. i loved it. such a simple and beautiful way to start celebrating the holidays.

christmas lap.

the excitement of thanksgiving has come and gone. the pilgrims have vanished. just as quickly as the bird was devoured.

we've moved full force on to santa. and what he should bring. we've been wavering on what we think we should ask for when we sit on his lap. should it be a princess dress? a pink electric guitar? a kitchen? a drum set? or the easiest on the wallet and the ears. this week - a headband? personally i vote for the headband.

today. we thought barbies would be nice as well as a choo choo. for him and for her. he still is leaning towards a cooking (kitchen) and a headband (don't ask). i'm still gunning for the headband.

but the best part today was when they contemplated how they actually have to ask for these treasures. that they actually have to sit on his lap and ask. there were some tears of fear and shouts of joy. for he is a bit timid to sit on "christmas" lap (not santa's lap. he calls it "christmas lap") and she can't wait to get there. getting her off will be the issue. as was demonstrated by our visit to the easter bunny this spring...

thankful part 2.

so today is my day to be thankful. to spew out what i'm thankful for. and here goes. don't mind the randomness. and don't mind that it's in no particular order of importance. or complete. i'm sure i could go on and on.

family.

sharpie markers. apple computers. and fresh raspberries.

cowboy boots. and words. and john denver songs.

starbucks lattes. and holiday gingersnap lattes.

friends.

cinnabon cinnamon rolls. and thankful that there isn't one here. i only get them occasionally in an airport.

orange julius. again. not here. only when lucky enough to find one.

laughing. and 24 hour news.

my north face puffer vest. and jacket. timbuktu bags.

nikon. and great lenses. and inspiration.

christmas lights.

martha stewart glitter. and green street lights.

cupcakes. and frosting.

warm fall days. and early spring days.

flowers. and rain drops.

good books. and crossword puzzles.

construction paper and scissors.

wine. and cheese.

littles. and words. and wonder.

project runway. top chef. and the barefoot contessa.

mrs meyers lavendar soap.

flip flops. and warm days to wear them.

oceans. mountains. and forests. i'm not picky.

sunsets and sunrises.

dogs and down comforters. and snuggles and hugs.

turkeys on parade.

so today. i decided to break out the cupcakes. and be creative. i felt like baking. so i whipped up a batch of turkey cupcakes. for tomorrow. for delivering to friends. don't worry. it's not an original idea. i just modified it slightly to give them a bit of personality.


i love how it looks like they're just marching along. not caring a bit about their fate.

and he seems to have a bit of attitude. well. shouldn't he? it's his day after all. although. when did your day become the one where you're eaten?

and i know. i hate candy corn. in case you'd forgotten. i won't eat the tail feathers or the beak. i mean really? who would any way?

thankful.

on sunday at sunday school. she was thankful for:

yes - that says princess dresses.

yesterday at school she made a picture. and she was thankful for:

and yes - that's nail polish in the middle and that's supposed to be me(!) on the left and her brother on the right.
and today at dance class she was thankful for. finally. her family.


yes. it's been a progression. certainly princess dresses and nail polish are the things to be most thankful for...

slinky.

i read yesterday that the inventor (or wife of...) of the slinky died recently. her name was betty james. let's take a moment. everyone has enjoyed a slinky, haven't you?

she was 90 years old.

immediately it reminded me of my dear friend jeanne. in texas.

when i worked with her. years ago. she always. i mean always. carried around a little slinky with her. she's just one of those people that always has to be busy with something. (like people who doodle in meetings) and her slinky was her thing. especially helpful in the dysfunctional place we worked. with the crazy people we worked with.

but she always would fiddle. fiddle. fiddle. with the slinky. and i'll always remember her. when i see one. i bet she still has one on her desk now. i'll have to ask her...or send her one for christmas...

46.

happy anniversary to my parents.

wow.

46 years.




that's 46 years. our 10 seems measly in comparison. but i won't go there. this is about you.

46 is a big number. i'm sure it's hard to come by. not many these days get there. congratulations. you've set a high standard for us to live up to.

we had a party for 40. sorry. no bash this year. but toddot got married. so that was a big enough celebration for the year.

3 kids. dogs. and now a new puppy. grandkidd-os. 46 happy fun adventuring years.

a lot to be happy about.

enjoy and celebrate!

happy birthday.

to twinkle.

our first little. our colorado native.

life has been rough for you lately. i know. you don't feel great. the other littles call you "winkie". we don't get to snug like we used to.

but we love you. still our first little.

happy birthday. to you. to you. to you.

finally.

friday.

finally.

yippee!

and what did i get done?

not much. not much at all. but it was a good week. i got focused. i got organized (kind of) and i made it through. i had a lot on my plate this week. and i'm glad some of it is cleared off.

but it's finally friday. and can you believe it? it's also five weeks until christmas.

i know. the holiday decorations are up in the stores. the christmas music has been playing on the radio for weeks. the holiday sales have started. but i'm not in the mood. to play christmas yet. now. don't get wrong. i love christmas. love the whole holiday season. but don't like the way it's been commercialized. extended. used.

but this year is going to be different for us. new family members in town. homemade from me. but the usual busy. busy. busy. rushing around. i think we can say we're already overbooked this coming month. something every weekend. parties. dates. get-togethers. outings with friends. it will be a special, fun month.

but for now. i'm just glad. glad that it's friday.

finally.

suddenly i see.

suddenly i saw. today. and realized.

all the things. that i have to get done. before the holidays.

so i focused. sat down. made more lists. decided what to give as gifts. decided what i'm going to create. because i think this is going to be a handmade christmas from me.

isn't that what christmas is about? the thought? the intention? the things i remember loving the most at christmas were usually handmade. or handed-down to me. heirlooms. or pieces of memories. it wasn't about the stuff. it was about the thought. the effort that went behind, or into the gift.

i'm excited. i have a lot. a lot. to do. but i'm focused. and i'm going to get them done.



so it's handmade. from me. can't give out details. because certain giftee(s) read this site. but more to come. so just know that i'll be busy busy busy. creating. creating. creating.

off the wagon.

oh. i've been good. very good.

not in attempt to entice santa (although that would be nice).

but just good.

i guess i've been a bit freaked out by all the doom and gloom of the financial reports. the excessive hype of the news media. waiting for the recession. the higher prices. etc. etc. and i've had that whole simplify message running through my brain, too.

so i've been good. not great. but good.

i mean really? how many pairs of shoes does one person need? well, ok. i shouldn't ask that one.

but seriously? i have enough clothes, shoes, make up, un-necessities to last me months. no years.

but today. i don't know what happened. i fell. and fell semi-hard. not hard. just semi-hard.

two new pairs of jeans, a sweater, and a new pair of shoes.

i know. i know. it doesn't sound like much. and it really wasn't. old navy for the jeans and sweater (and we know how cheap their stuff is) and the shoes. well. they were expensive. but i had two coupons and a gift card (from a return, of course - see i'm what you could call a "serial returner" - but i'll save that for another post). so in actuality they were cheap. so what if they are cole haans. they'll last forever, right? and they were cheap in relativity...

so there. i 'fessed up.

i fell off. but i'm back on tomorrow.

well, after i get that one sweater at banana that is calling out to me....

quiet. please.

oh, how i wish i was here. today.

i've been fighting a migraine all day. all day long. i could feel it coming on when i woke up this am.

and it's here. a day at the beach would certainly help it.

so i think i'll just think about that.

the beach.

sand in the toes.

sunshine on the shoulders.

the smell of suntan lotion.

a cool drink in my hand.

the spray of surf on my face.

i'm feeling better already.

and it's only monday.

time for more coffee. more coffee. more coffee.

here's my list for the week. and it's only monday. monday.

* pick out and return school pictures
* work
* bank
* layouts to start and complete
* holiday gifts to start
* schedule dr. appointment that i've been putting off for months
* take little 1 to dr.
* photograph session
* write thank you notes for many many various things
* workout
* call friend in texas
* return phone calls
* rsvp party
* finish laundry
* plan menu
* finish cleaning up yard
* wash car and get gas - complete! how do you like paying $1.69 a gallon? yee haw!
* take little 2 to dentist
* call dentist for me
* find holiday outfit for little 1's holiday pageant
* finish painting things
* finish. finish. finish. many things. and it's only monday.

sometimes i think i should just drink coffee. do you ever wonder about those lucky folks that just sit in coffee shops all day? what do they do that allows this to be their lives? what path did they take that i didn't? because somedays, i would sure like to know...

caterpillar.

hours of fun. a caterpillar brings.

we fed him.

played with him.

named him. cater. of course.

built him a house.

decided he would be our best friend for. ever. forever.

and then unceremoniously dumped his house and his food with him back into the yard. and moved onto something else.

how fleeting friendship is when you're five. at least she didn't smoosh him.

drip.drip.drip.

we're working on a bit of remodeling. around here. it's a bit of a mess. and a bit of a disruption.

but i keep telling myself. it will be nice. when it's done. finished. wrapped up. cleaned up. and decorated.

nice.

but today. we hit a pipe. a water. pipe. water spurting. out. dripping. water.

and now we have no water. it's been shut off. shut off until we can get someone out.

so we wait. sit and wait. and hope the guy shows up and restores our water.

and she. is so worried about not having water.

but mommy. "i'm dirty. i need to take to a bath."

but mommy. "i'm so thirsty. i must have some water. my mouth is so thirsty."

because i don't know if i can live with two littles and no water. and i was just in the middle of eight loads of laundry. and no water.

you know what i think?

i think. that people. don't understand the importance of leaving this place a better place than when you arrived. maybe because they don't live in a place or have never been able to truly experience what this world offers. the beauty and peace of the oceans. the calm and glory of the mountains and the forests.

maybe they haven't seen animals in their native habitats. the wonder of nature. maybe they haven't gotten to see how glorious this place is. how it can take your breath away. my trip out west this summer. changed me. changed the way. i think. changed the way i want to be. and i'm glad about that.

they see their concrete driveways and blacktop streets. their beige houses. their perfectly planned landscapes. i know. i live amongst this. i'm part of it...but it doesn't mean i have to like it!

maybe they haven't seen the randomness of nature.



the way a tree can grow here and there. out of a rock cropping on the side of a mountain. the waves crashing endless on the shore. the shells and goodies that are left behind.

the stillness of a forest on a summer day. the clear black sky ablaze with stars on a crisp fall day high. in the mountains.



now, don't get me wrong. i'm far. far. far. from perfect. but lately i want to be better. try harder. i want my littles to get to see these things, too.

i guess i'm just on a tangent today. all because of a commercial for the nature conservancy. it definitely got me to think. i wish i could find the link. it might just get you to think, too.

wandering.

my mind's been wandering lately. thinking alot. pondering things. lots of things. it's hard to keep it on track somedays.

i make lists. but get way-laid. i re-write lists. and still never seem to accomplish what's on them. today i actually made a list in order. in order. of the way i needed to get things done. i got through 3 of the 8 items. maybe i can still finish the rest before the day is done.

but things seem to arise. happen. upsetting calls from upset friends. reconnecting calls from far-away friends. unplanned cocktails. sites and stores and places that i seem to stumble on and stumble over. playtime and teaching time. and chasing around time.

see? i digress. this is how i end up. at the end of the day. with nothing accomplished. i've got to get focused.

these thoughts. these things. that get me side-tracked...

recipes. i've been cooking a lot more lately. trying out new recipes. testing things out. not so good for the waistline. but good for family nights.

writing. i've been writing more these days. blogging. trying to keep my goal of blogging everyday until the end of the year.

working out. trying. it's one of those things on my list. that gets done. somedays.

working. working. working. it's holiday season already. and luckily and happily i've got orders to do and photos to shoot.

meetings. get-to-gethers. appointments. commitments.

and thoughts. the economy. the election. what could happen. what will happen. what could change. get better. explaining to her. and discussing it seems. with everyone. debating. being surprised. very surprised. and frankly disappointed by people's comment's and thoughts on the outcome. that those types of thoughts and beliefs still exist in this world. still today.

what are you thinking about?

good day sunshine

after two days of rain and gloomy skies. the sun. returned today. i had this song on my mind all day. all day.


a little sunlight always brightens up a wednesday.

an interesting conversation at a meeting this am got me to thinking about all the issues as girls. moms. that people face. and deal with. everyday. frustration. loss. let down. depression. joy. happiness. they run the gamut of emotions. and we deal. and keep dealing. as we have. as everyone has. through the years.

but the sunshine helped. it put it all in perspective. and it's all about perspective right?

in my library.

i've been asked with the other yulie to join a book club.

i've thought about book clubs for years. never joined in. i kind of like to read and then ponder on my own.

but this time i might join in. depends on the reading list and timing. it might be fun to read some interesting books. share some thoughts and gain some insights. if it's light-hearted, funny stuff. it might. be. interesting. no deep. stuff for me. i have too much on my mind. for that.

but it would be good to change my reading list. because right now it is composed of these: